how to dye your hair pink
step 1: anticipate that you might do it wrong, and use only half the tube of dye
step 2: do it wrong
step 3: apply the rest of the dye
step 4: still wrong
step 5: new batch of dye
step 6: ok this looks more right
step 7: make a paloma
step 8: drink it in the bath while the dye sets
step 9: realize, abruptly and without warning, that you have gotten drunk in the bath
step 10: wash out dye, drunk
step 11: congrats! you have pink hair! 2006 is gonna be your year
step 12: wake up in the morning, hungover and forgetting your hair is pink
step 13: scare yourself in the mirror
step 14: remind yourself that your roots were going to be so bad post-quar that you would have had to get your whole head re-bleached anyway, so why not have some fun?
step 15: facetime your mom, who laughs indulgently and says “why?”
step 16: put it in a sort of half bun and notice you missed a whole bunch of blonde around the back/roots
step 17: whatever
step 18: go make bread