dream holiday gift list
is it a shopping guide? is it an exercise in capitalist delusion? have i been inside for 5 days? yes to all 3
hey friends! im coming at u live from the porch of my house in la, where i have set up a sad little pillow/blanket nest against a wall. that’s where im currently hunching with my water bottle and “be the cowboy” by mitski blasting. i am down bad w either a Bad Cold or covid (its not showing up on home tests but i can’t taste/smell?), but today i managed to take a 20 min walk around the neighborhood, so i’m hoping whatever it is is winding down.
the advent of the holiday season is stressing me out a little bit, largely because i have to move all my possessions into storage by the time rax and i leave for nyc on december 18th (haha moving again haha if anyone knows of a place near silverlake open in feb that’s less than 1200 a month lmk haha), but i’m determined not to let a time of year that normally provides me w crucial serotonin bum me out just bc it will inevitably involve me sweating, packing, sweating, moving boxes, sweating, cleaning out yet another bedroom, and did i mention sweating? i’m trying to look at it as: it will be done before we hit nyc, bc it has to be. and luckily i never really unpacked lol. also we’re throwing a holiday party at rax’s before we leave, and i’m determined to wear the beautiful sparkly wray dress eliza got me and serve seasonal cocktails even if it exhausts me.
normally i’d be working hard on my christmas list right about now, but i’ve already purchased most of the purchase-able things i’m getting for friends and family, and the fact that my mom’s fam is doing secret santa this year (leaving me only responsible for one big gift after rax’s) is a definite load off. like many, if not most of us, i’m feeling grim every day about israel’s assault on gaza, and even though i’m trying to go to ifnotnow events and make my 5 calls to my reps daily and stay open to information etc, it just doesn’t feel like the most celebratory of years. then again, i do feel almost an obligation to celebrate chanukah—this from me, the most christmas-tree-having of jews—out of some vague adherence to the jewish notion of not canceling a simcha (joyful occasion) because of a tragedy. tragedy and joy and horror and delight and misery and grief and wonder all have to coexist together, i know that, and yet actually making them coexist…hmm. not easy enough! refund pls! being a person fucking sucks! and yet im so lucky, so disgustingly painfully lucky and alive and (mostly) free.
anyway, the escape hatch i’m using to temporarily avoid these Swirling Thoughts is (of course) online shopping, a.k.a. an engraved invitation to my consumer debt to go ahead and move in and get comfy. so with respect to my credit score, i thought i’d make this year’s holiday gift list a) public and b) aspirational. and to think, i once announced in 2019 that i would “rather gouge out my eyes than ever write another gift guide.” enjoy!
**if you’re on this list: none of these things are spoilers for what you’re actually getting, which, i’m sorry to say, is probably worse.
boyfriend
wales bonner crochet track pants, $545
if you know rax, or even if you don’t maybe, you can imagine how insanely hot they would look in these pants. with a white tank top? and a hat? and the gucci loafers i got them on trr for their bday in 2022? or w some fuckass croc slides? HONK
mom
hermes silk shell scarf, $365
what is a gift for one’s mother, if not something to steal at a later point? this kooky shell print is fancy-yet-beachy enough for my mom while still being weird enough to appeal to me (even though it’s for her! technically! god, i’m 30 years old and even in my imagination i’m still thieving from my mother.)
dad
ganni leather biker gloves, $85.50
its hard to shop for my dad even in fantasyland, because he is quite adept at identifying his needs and providing for them, so my best bet is usually to get the nicest version i can afford of something he already uses. he definitely uses biking gloves while cycling ridiculous lengths (that he drops as casually as if it were a trip around the block) to his office, and i think these ganni ones would be a great first step at making him into a certified #gannigirl (like daughter, like father.)
bestie
susan alexandra beaded dog collar and leash, $235
conversely it is incredibly easy to shop for jazmine, my best friend. it’s actually pretty easy to shop for all 10-15 people on my personal “is not in my family yet gets a christmas gift from emma” list, which is why they’re on said list in the first place, but i can’t ideate on Fancy Gifts for all of those people bc im still sick and need to lie on my side listening to mitski some more soon, so let’s just use jaz as a prototype.
jazmine and i share a love of stupid shit, so i would never dream of getting her anything practical, in a thought exercise or in real life, and i want her everyday moments to be bathed in beauty. this has often led me to buy her bath oils and the like, which she does NOT actually like that much, to my knowledge. what she does like, though, is when her dog tuna looks beautiful. i probably would get this leash for her irl if there was any chance she wouldn’t snap it immediately and eat its component parts (tuna, not jaz.)
this is not even half of my Dream Holiday List, but again, i’m tired. xoxoxoxo
currently watching: the simpsons on a loop bc my friend beth came thru w the disney plus login (extremely real behavior), gonna dive into may december tn if i feel up to it
currently reading: girlfriends by emily zhou
currently eating: nothing since i barfed this morning :/ but maybe ill have some grapes? ugh no those sound bad. idk. i’ll figure it out